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Track 7 of Animus Session: The Dead of Winter.
Note: The music is the landscape of my mind. It's not always structured: our thoughts rarely are, especially considering how unstable I was.

lyrics

Verse 1
I woke up that morning with a stuffy nose, red puffy eyes,
Dusky skies, looked out my window and I swore it must be five!
Jumped right out of bed, God, please let it be a snow day,
Don’t take me to that pla-cé where my talent is a throwaway,
I rap so good, serve soulfood,
So Petals just gotta go global.
It gets that shine, I’ll get signed,
And tour the world as a rap mogul.
Bout my parents, I’m sure they’d have to come around,
When they see their first born son out there making a whole nation proud.
Yeah, these are my dreams that some might call naïve,
But what makes them unreal keeps my boots in concrete,
GROUNDED paradoxically, it all tends to balance out,
Like the sun with the moon with the stars, you pull the cameras out!
FLASH and FLASH, I’m attracted to the bright lights,
The highlife as I rush to my bus, it’s all that keeps my eyes wide,
Like a moth attracted to flame, I’m intrigued by the chance of fame,
Just hoping I don’t get burned as I strive to make my own name.
Interlude:
And yes indeed, you will be...
POPULAR! You are going to be popular!
I’ll teach you the proper poise,
When you talk to boys, 
Little ways to flirt & flounce, ooh!
I’ll show you what-
Twas upon a time there was a boy who died,
Lived happily ever after...
But that's another chapter,
Live from,
Home of the brave with dirty dollars,
Beauty parlors, baby bottles and bowling ball Impalas,
And street scholars majoring in culinary arts,
You know how to work bread, cheese & dough,
From scratch, but see the catch is you can get caught,
Know what ya sellin' what ya bought so cut that big talk,
Let's walk to the bridge now meet me halfway
Now you may see some children dead off in the pathway
it's them poor babies walkin' slowly to the candy lady
It's lookin' bad need some…
It’s like going to heaven and finding GOD SMOKING CRACK!
REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!
Three thefts…hidden by the Murders….
People only see what they’re trained to see,
What the Organization wants them to see….
NOONE CARES FOR YOU A SMIDGE,
WHEN YOU’RE IN AN ORPHANAGE,
IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!
It is around us! Signs and paintings…
Faces. Documents. But…
But we don’t see it. See…
We are…hehe…we are blind to our own creation.
YOU’RE GONNA CLEAN THIS DUMP!
TILL IT SHINES LIKE THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!
Listen! Why do we have these Gifts?! These Abilities?!
BECAUSE! IT’S IN. OUR BLOOD!!!!
YANK THE WHISKERS FROM HER CHIN! 
JAB HER WITH A SAFETY PIN!
MAKE HER DRINK A MICKEY FINN!
REVOLUTION!
REVOLUTION!!!

Verse 2
I came home that day… Pissed on, in no mood to play!
With a headache, I’d faced my first day of ever being detained!
I’d mistakenly skipped a class, I just cannot seem to pass!
And I don’t mean to be crass, but Fuck AP Calc and Stats!
I hate my life: different days but it’s the same ol’ path!
With bullshit grades, would you believe I was a whiz at math?
It all falls apart, nothing is going as it should!
Petals won’t even go wood, My mother looks at me like a fool!
Just like that brat who spat on his mom,
Caused her so much pain now today she’s gone,
I think he’s in my Uncle, Yep he’s the one,
Who blazed the lane that I unwillingly run!
And knowing all of this, How could I ever break the news?
That even with As in everything else, I still might not graduate school?
It’d break Ma’s heart.
That’s a fact. I can’t afford to play that part.
So in rhyme, I drown my cries, Makes it much easier to dodge and dart,
The pricks of my conscience, As I strive to make some sense
Of this mess, this nonsense, while still smiling in front of friends,
Gosh, I really need to unwind,
Maybe record some lines, that always makes me feel alright…
But no dice, ROLL FAIL, my mom rained on my parade,
A one-sided debate, and I walk away delayed,
One song less, back to stress-
GOD I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP!
As I sob quietly to myself, on the day of my birth!
It’s been 17 years yet what have I really learned?!
Finally I can say what I’ve meant to all verse:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
-------------------------------------------------------
I don’t know what’s happening to me…I’ve been in the machine,
THEY KEEP PUTTING ME BACK IN,
AND I AM LOSING CONTROL!
It’s all BLURRING together,
--------------------------------------------------------
I’m holding a rifle…Gettysburg is in the distance…
I JUST STABBED A MAN AND THERE IS BLOOD ON MY WAISTCOAT!
I’m at the opera…the Soprano is so beautiful…
I’m in bed with her… she cries as I fuck her.
I’m speaking at the Forum…NOONE LISTENS!
My mind is gone…

credits

from Animus Session: The Dead Of Winter, released December 31, 2011
HelioS.

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