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AiL​(​Mandy)

from Animus Session: The Dead Of Winter by HelioS

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Track 3 of Animus Sessions: The Dead of Winter.

lyrics

Ok, I just need to focus...I just need to focus...

Verse 1
The demon peers at me as I brush my teeth,
Blurry but can be seen that he spits when I spit,
I try not to look but i guess he's my ref-
lection, raps and sings so he must be me,
I walk out the door then I close it behind me,
hand to my tummy, but I tell it to bite me.
Time's run out, no food for the tardy.
Yet I stroll and hesitate like before entering a party,
I slipped on the landing, these days I feel like Mandy,
Billy died years ago thinking he could outlast me,
I miss him, It's spring, the creek bubbles, I'm free,
Sugar and spice and I'm as nice as could be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I'll cut the crap: let me paint the scene,
It might be spring but the trees sure ain't green!
They cast a grayish tinge as I cross the street,
I can feel my heartbeat, one two, one two,
Really what keeps me awake as Bus 2 comes through,
Late as always, the trees seem to say,
As they converge to stare me down so I'm covered in gray,
Now he opens the carriage, tells me to get inside,
walking past, feeling burned by his reddish eyes,
Always thought horsemen acted like they were on meds,
But this one's calm so he never lost heads,
Or a head, It's too dark to tell,
Absorbed in our hells, the horseman stops the bus-
I mean carriage- won't drive until we're in rank and file,
So arranged, he saddles up to ride
And onwards we go, a journey into the mind!

Interlude(Buses...a carriage?!)

Verse 2
The bus comes to a halt then we walk in the door,
Siblings separate so its Me Against The World
But no Outlawz for me so when I take a seat,
I stick out like a sprig among autumn leaves,
Once i was green, I blossomed freely,
Now I'm a blackened stalk, devoid of Billy,
With each cycle of the loop, my stem droops,
Even further than before in front of a group.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But no more metaphors, let me speak plainly,
My self-esteem hasn't been peaking much lately,
If anything it's dropped, below zero degrees,
I'm not just cold, my personality needs Febreeze,
So badly it stinks, yeesh, better make it a double,
Cause the stench from self-loathing is far from subtle,
And I'm soaked in it; it fills every pore of my skin,
A cancerous cyst yearning to be free from within...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DemonAndMe:
AND RIP THEIR FACES OFF; I REALLY DO HATE THEM ALL,
YOU CAN'T EVEN FATHOM HOW BITTER MY GALL
IS, LET THEM BURN FOR EVERY PERCEIVED WRONG,
RIGHT OR NOT, LET THEM ERUPT WHEN THEY HEAR THIS SONG,
REMEMBER ON THE WAY TO THE BUS?
WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THE DEMON AND THE TREES WITH A CURSE?
I'D FORGOT TO ADD I'D HOPPED ON WITH MY MAMA'S VOICE RINGING IN MY EAR,
I GUESS WHO I'M BECOMING HAS BECOME ONE OF HER FEARS,
NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I'M ALWAYS IN THE WRONG,
IF YOU ONLY KNEW, HOW MUCH I COULD SAY IN THIS SONG,
BUT I JUST RHYMED THE SAME WORDS SO I WANT YOU TO RIP YOUR CORD,
FROM YOUR IPOD OR WHATEVER AND STRANGLE IN MY THOUGHTS,
CUZ HOW CAN I HELP YOU IF I CAN'T EVEN HELP ME?
WHAT I AM IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE
AND SINCE MY GOALS WILL NEVER SYNC,
WHAT BENEFITS COULD ME LIVING EVER BRING?




SAFE MODE....

credits

from Animus Session: The Dead Of Winter, released December 31, 2011
HelioS, Imploded View

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