Animus Session: The Dead Of Winter

by HelioS

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    What I have to show for 2011.

     

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What I have to show for 2011.

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released December 31, 2011

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Track Name: Animus Intro
Animus Sessions, Animus Sessions...

Verse
The Animus is the Key, the Animus will starve the seed,
Of Hate and Despair that's growing inside of me.
It all started some weeks before we turned 17
Something ripped our seam
Caused my persona to split.
Which one is the real- is it me or him?
Tonight we rewind: go into the machine
The Animus will fuse and both our minds will sync.
It'll be just like sleep...like you were having a dream...

Chorus
Animus Sessions X (God knows how many times)
(Even Riff Raffs with Click Clacks, compared to me are Wick-Wack)X 2
Track Name: Nostalgia pt.2
Chorus
Kids: The man came to our house and knocked on our door,
he said he had tried but he'd take it no more,
The world was beautiful; our building was not,
The Man: "So tell you what, I'll take it and fix it up"
Kids: Yeah, we could trust that smile...
Just right for drowning us in the Nile/denial...
HelioS: Ok, this is how it went...
The man came to our house and bust in the door,
he lied that he had tried but he couldn't anymore,
The allure of big business was just too much,
So he'd sell the house: kick his guap up a notch,
Yeah, kick his guap up a notch, kick his guap up a notch

Verse 1
So he sent in his soldiers to "HURRY IT UP!
THROW THEIR STUFF OUT IF THEY WON'T PICK IT UP!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE RELATED, YOU KNOW THE DRILL!
MARCH RIGHT OUTSIDE AND YOU'LL SEE HOW THEY'LL FEEL!
Scared that these dogs just might not heel,
rip them to shreds and still walk out free.
So you know they'll only take the bare necessities,
when they realize their life might be in jeopardy.

Chorus
Kids: The man came to our house and knocked on our door,
he said he had tried but he'd take it no more,
The world was beautiful; our building was not,
The Man: "So tell you what, I'll take it and fix it up"
Kids: Yeah, we could trust that smile...
Just right for drowning us in the Nile/denial...
Shh, this is how it really went guys...
The man came to our house and bust in the door,
he lied that he had tried but he couldn't anymore,
The allure of big business was just too much,
So he'd sell the house: kick his guap up a notch,
Yeah, kick his guap up a notch, kick his guap up a notch

Verse 2
So we moved to a new and improved place,
really just a nice word for the change of pace,
"Ok, we've got water but what about the light?
I haven't watched Ben 10 yet and you know that ain't right!"
Yeah? well get ready for misery kid,
Cuz you won't get water for the next three weekends,
You'll have to fetch water from a well,
and get it up so watch out for the steps!

The man came to our house and-never mind,
We all knew the truth, he was never kind,
he was in cahoots with the private guys,
so we might as well stop it with the lies,
But still, it was not that bad,
on a hot day, sleeveless shirts were the fad,
I'd turn the corner to get some shade and sweets,
from the Mallams who set up shop from up the street,
I you kept walking, you'd reach a round clearing,
It's where all the shops are if you lost your bearings,
The internet cafe on the right, the barbershop on the left,
how I miss those days, surprisingly they're my best,
my favorites, I can see it all now,
the arcade always with the large crowd,
the store where I got my Harry Potter cards...

Me: The man came to our house and knocked on our door,
he opened it and I kicked him in the balls,
The world was beautiful and he was a sore,
So i pushed him off the floor; he won't bother no more.
Track Name: AiL(Mandy)
Ok, I just need to focus...I just need to focus...

Verse 1
The demon peers at me as I brush my teeth,
Blurry but can be seen that he spits when I spit,
I try not to look but i guess he's my ref-
lection, raps and sings so he must be me,
I walk out the door then I close it behind me,
hand to my tummy, but I tell it to bite me.
Time's run out, no food for the tardy.
Yet I stroll and hesitate like before entering a party,
I slipped on the landing, these days I feel like Mandy,
Billy died years ago thinking he could outlast me,
I miss him, It's spring, the creek bubbles, I'm free,
Sugar and spice and I'm as nice as could be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I'll cut the crap: let me paint the scene,
It might be spring but the trees sure ain't green!
They cast a grayish tinge as I cross the street,
I can feel my heartbeat, one two, one two,
Really what keeps me awake as Bus 2 comes through,
Late as always, the trees seem to say,
As they converge to stare me down so I'm covered in gray,
Now he opens the carriage, tells me to get inside,
walking past, feeling burned by his reddish eyes,
Always thought horsemen acted like they were on meds,
But this one's calm so he never lost heads,
Or a head, It's too dark to tell,
Absorbed in our hells, the horseman stops the bus-
I mean carriage- won't drive until we're in rank and file,
So arranged, he saddles up to ride
And onwards we go, a journey into the mind!

Interlude(Buses...a carriage?!)

Verse 2
The bus comes to a halt then we walk in the door,
Siblings separate so its Me Against The World
But no Outlawz for me so when I take a seat,
I stick out like a sprig among autumn leaves,
Once i was green, I blossomed freely,
Now I'm a blackened stalk, devoid of Billy,
With each cycle of the loop, my stem droops,
Even further than before in front of a group.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But no more metaphors, let me speak plainly,
My self-esteem hasn't been peaking much lately,
If anything it's dropped, below zero degrees,
I'm not just cold, my personality needs Febreeze,
So badly it stinks, yeesh, better make it a double,
Cause the stench from self-loathing is far from subtle,
And I'm soaked in it; it fills every pore of my skin,
A cancerous cyst yearning to be free from within...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DemonAndMe:
AND RIP THEIR FACES OFF; I REALLY DO HATE THEM ALL,
YOU CAN'T EVEN FATHOM HOW BITTER MY GALL
IS, LET THEM BURN FOR EVERY PERCEIVED WRONG,
RIGHT OR NOT, LET THEM ERUPT WHEN THEY HEAR THIS SONG,
REMEMBER ON THE WAY TO THE BUS?
WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THE DEMON AND THE TREES WITH A CURSE?
I'D FORGOT TO ADD I'D HOPPED ON WITH MY MAMA'S VOICE RINGING IN MY EAR,
I GUESS WHO I'M BECOMING HAS BECOME ONE OF HER FEARS,
NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I'M ALWAYS IN THE WRONG,
IF YOU ONLY KNEW, HOW MUCH I COULD SAY IN THIS SONG,
BUT I JUST RHYMED THE SAME WORDS SO I WANT YOU TO RIP YOUR CORD,
FROM YOUR IPOD OR WHATEVER AND STRANGLE IN MY THOUGHTS,
CUZ HOW CAN I HELP YOU IF I CAN'T EVEN HELP ME?
WHAT I AM IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE
AND SINCE MY GOALS WILL NEVER SYNC,
WHAT BENEFITS COULD ME LIVING EVER BRING?




SAFE MODE....
Track Name: The Black Room
This world is filled with fragments of my existence,
Forgotten surroundings and those thoughts that persisted,
Doth throb my temple, I look around and wonder why,
As the clouds assemble, purple lightning streaks the sky!
The world is filled with lies but this is Abuja in July,
I'm away from home, among my peers but I'm alone.
Detached, I always was,
Never relaxed, My brain could buzz,
For eons and eons, ask me why, I'll reply: just because.
The wind whips up the sands round and round, it stings my eyes,
Muritala passes me by, but hush, hear my ancestor's cries...

Do I deny, decry or deciph'?
There are no choices: it's a thinly veiled disguise,
A foregone conclusion: this world knows my design.
So crackle goes the flame,
Another crackle but it rains,
I drop these soggy books,
And so like Moses i start to run,
In search of a bush...a bush...that burns...
Track Name: The Burning Bush
Verse 1
Rhymin' distracted now: out of focus
Verses swarm like locusts, make Queen Bs jokers
To put my name on the map, they bunny hop hocus pocus
Out my top hat, fall back,
ten seasons till i fall flat
Like All That, never shied from warpaths
Wore sock hats and never hung with the rough pack
So people seem shocked when they know that I write
Or don't fit preconceived prototypes of those on the mic.
Skeptics...till i showed them all the light
Now they burn heretics/hair ticks who challenge my might
But with every critic saved, there's more in need of sight
They all say they listen-through their teeth- so i know it's a LIE!
Of course, I'm bitter: Petals was more than 'just alright'
These 'connoisseurs' on hip-hop must know nothin' on rap
Cuz they just post artists based on the number of blog hits
To make hip-hop stop, think "What the hell's wrong with-?"
{Insert popular blog name} cuz we all know who does it
Don't mean to sound like the guy on the pulpit
But it is what is...
Chorus
Take my hands, grab a seat or walk with me
Past the flames, the fumes, all the way to The Burning Bush X2

Verse 2
I wrote this verse in class, sleepy eyes so time could pass
And also cuz it's getting harder to write in that house...
Like Mass, i can get in like 4 or 5 bars
Meaningful stuff, never about jewels or cars
But at home, it's different: my mom wants me reading
Studying Math never English, around the clock: it's sickening.
She's come to hate everything i devote a place
In my heart for, cuz i rap, she feels disgraced
Feels the need to hide the facts
That on beats i wax
The mentality of the pack
That all rap is trash
She's embraced so despite my efforts to educate,
I've come to realize my input might never take
So it is what it is
Like the birds and the bees
There's this giant rift between my mother and me
And it just keeps getting wider and big...
Chorus x2

Verse 3
This is the hardest part of the song and I could be wrong
But i do know one thing: this life ain't fun
It sucks: I never thought i'd ever be the one
To wish my mama gone and not feel remorse
I'm just tryna form a life that in ten years I'll want
Or when i'm on a crutch or raising my own runt
But with every foot forward, it feels like I moonwalk
Petals didn't take, how am i sure this one will work?
I'm miserable man: I scrawl my name in emo font
In dark-purple chucks yelling out Kill Them ALL
This is my world: It's not the cheeriest of welcomes
But if you listen to this tape, thats prolly not what you're here for
Chorus x3
Track Name: Blood, Tears and Pain
I slip and I fall, my head hits the concrete.
BLOOD spurts, engulfs my face, as Kitty licks, his tongue flicks.
My mother rushes in, her expression far from fun-filled.
A tear falls from her cheek, it touches my teeth, I try to blink.

His needle pierces my head, I wince: it hurts,
But i try not to blurt. He smiles: He's touched.
I know his name but at the moment, it does not matter,
In Argentina, i find myself staring at the altar,
They all give offerings but my heart's gone cold,
Staring at a platter of gold, their bread is nothing but MOLD,
To me. I toe the line between DISBELIEVER and DIVINE
Descending into darkness, ugh! how i hate the light!
I hate it when they smile!
I hate it when the laugh!
I haven't in awhile!
So what reason do they have?
If i could turn my insecurities inside out and paint the world with these impurities,
Blood would splatter the hallways, cries calling for security
I stumble around in a daze,
Drunk from blood lust- the rage
Sometimes it envelopes...i'm surprised,
At how much self-hate really resides
Within.

My head is down, my hands on my thighs,
I struggle not to cry, I haven't done that in years,
But it hurts too much, I can't hold back the TEARS!
A cascade of PAIN! Hot, boiling PAIN,
Impeded by my pride:
No Longer Abel/Able, They Shall Call Me Cain.

And it all came together in the form of my birthday.

Every week, another reason to scream like Billy Mays...
Every week, another reason to scream like Billy Mays...
Every week, another reason to scream like BILLY MAYS...
Track Name: March 22
Verse 1
I woke up that morning with a stuffy nose, red puffy eyes,
Dusky skies, looked out my window and I swore it must be five!
Jumped right out of bed, God, please let it be a snow day,
Don’t take me to that pla-cé where my talent is a throwaway,
I rap so good, serve soulfood,
So Petals just gotta go global.
It gets that shine, I’ll get signed,
And tour the world as a rap mogul.
Bout my parents, I’m sure they’d have to come around,
When they see their first born son out there making a whole nation proud.
Yeah, these are my dreams that some might call naïve,
But what makes them unreal keeps my boots in concrete,
GROUNDED paradoxically, it all tends to balance out,
Like the sun with the moon with the stars, you pull the cameras out!
FLASH and FLASH, I’m attracted to the bright lights,
The highlife as I rush to my bus, it’s all that keeps my eyes wide,
Like a moth attracted to flame, I’m intrigued by the chance of fame,
Just hoping I don’t get burned as I strive to make my own name.
Interlude:
And yes indeed, you will be...
POPULAR! You are going to be popular!
I’ll teach you the proper poise,
When you talk to boys, 
Little ways to flirt & flounce, ooh!
I’ll show you what-
Twas upon a time there was a boy who died,
Lived happily ever after...
But that's another chapter,
Live from,
Home of the brave with dirty dollars,
Beauty parlors, baby bottles and bowling ball Impalas,
And street scholars majoring in culinary arts,
You know how to work bread, cheese & dough,
From scratch, but see the catch is you can get caught,
Know what ya sellin' what ya bought so cut that big talk,
Let's walk to the bridge now meet me halfway
Now you may see some children dead off in the pathway
it's them poor babies walkin' slowly to the candy lady
It's lookin' bad need some…
It’s like going to heaven and finding GOD SMOKING CRACK!
REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!
Three thefts…hidden by the Murders….
People only see what they’re trained to see,
What the Organization wants them to see….
NOONE CARES FOR YOU A SMIDGE,
WHEN YOU’RE IN AN ORPHANAGE,
IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!
It is around us! Signs and paintings…
Faces. Documents. But…
But we don’t see it. See…
We are…hehe…we are blind to our own creation.
YOU’RE GONNA CLEAN THIS DUMP!
TILL IT SHINES LIKE THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!
Listen! Why do we have these Gifts?! These Abilities?!
BECAUSE! IT’S IN. OUR BLOOD!!!!
YANK THE WHISKERS FROM HER CHIN! 
JAB HER WITH A SAFETY PIN!
MAKE HER DRINK A MICKEY FINN!
REVOLUTION!
REVOLUTION!!!

Verse 2
I came home that day… Pissed on, in no mood to play!
With a headache, I’d faced my first day of ever being detained!
I’d mistakenly skipped a class, I just cannot seem to pass!
And I don’t mean to be crass, but Fuck AP Calc and Stats!
I hate my life: different days but it’s the same ol’ path!
With bullshit grades, would you believe I was a whiz at math?
It all falls apart, nothing is going as it should!
Petals won’t even go wood, My mother looks at me like a fool!
Just like that brat who spat on his mom,
Caused her so much pain now today she’s gone,
I think he’s in my Uncle, Yep he’s the one,
Who blazed the lane that I unwillingly run!
And knowing all of this, How could I ever break the news?
That even with As in everything else, I still might not graduate school?
It’d break Ma’s heart.
That’s a fact. I can’t afford to play that part.
So in rhyme, I drown my cries, Makes it much easier to dodge and dart,
The pricks of my conscience, As I strive to make some sense
Of this mess, this nonsense, while still smiling in front of friends,
Gosh, I really need to unwind,
Maybe record some lines, that always makes me feel alright…
But no dice, ROLL FAIL, my mom rained on my parade,
A one-sided debate, and I walk away delayed,
One song less, back to stress-
GOD I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP!
As I sob quietly to myself, on the day of my birth!
It’s been 17 years yet what have I really learned?!
Finally I can say what I’ve meant to all verse:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
-------------------------------------------------------
I don’t know what’s happening to me…I’ve been in the machine,
THEY KEEP PUTTING ME BACK IN,
AND I AM LOSING CONTROL!
It’s all BLURRING together,
--------------------------------------------------------
I’m holding a rifle…Gettysburg is in the distance…
I JUST STABBED A MAN AND THERE IS BLOOD ON MY WAISTCOAT!
I’m at the opera…the Soprano is so beautiful…
I’m in bed with her… she cries as I fuck her.
I’m speaking at the Forum…NOONE LISTENS!
My mind is gone…
Track Name: Rum's Delight.
6:30 on a Sunday night...
Chorus
Cause we'll dance tonight,
I'm lost in your eyes,
Kiss my worries goodbye
Cause we're all alright

As we dance tonight,
All lost in your eyes,
Kiss my worries gooddbye
It goes down...TONIGHT!

Verse 1
6:30 on a Sunday night,
Public party at Rum's Delight,
My homie G.B will be rocking the mic,
Cause Shirley and Terry will be coming tonight.
Wrote some words for him on a crumbled piece of paper,
Cuz as he insists, I've got that 'Magic FLAVA!'
Corny ass dude with nothing to lose,
So if this backfires, jot it down as another caper.
As for me, I don't really wanna go,
But he keeps yapping that he might mess up his flow,
And if that happens, I might need a cape;
Afro-Superman to save the day!
I keep him telling him rhymes only go so far,
That to really get girls, you also need a car,
But he ain't hearin' none of that,
'If you don't dance, you might as well go and hit up the bar'
So I agree as he turns the wheel,
He borrowed his mom's jeep now he thinks he's chill,
Tires squeal,
They must know how I feel,
Onto Rum's Delight with the homie G.B.

Chorus

Verse 2
So now it's 8:30 on a lousy night,
Drinkin like I'm thirsty; that nigga G.B. was right,
Them rhymes got shirley picking a fight,
With Terry so I guess it's a thirsty nigga's world tonight!
Stomp! in the back, bad girls floating like Specters,
And all I think about is Laraba's letter,
She's on the other side of the country but I feel her close,
But here comes G.B. maybe we're about to go,
So I sit back and watch this drama unfold,
Long story cut short, he missed half his goal,
At least Shirley will date him now, so we bout head home,
But hol up, I'm just tipsy enough to hit the dance flo...

Chorus
Track Name: A Foreigner Mentality
Chorus 1
"My son, don't you ever forget where you came from.
Far from me, in the land of Dreams, remember your culture isn't poor.
In streets paved with gold, where opportunity is sold,
Please keep my words close to your soul"

Verse 1
My father's last words as I began to leave,
In search of a better chance to succeed.
I'd packed my bags, I'd aced my tests,
In school they knew me as the best.
Now I'm in this new world,
Where people choose to ignore,
Those who are different from them,
Recovering from culture shock, can't seem to readjust,
To these people on my bus.
I miss my old friends, I miss my family,
I miss just walking on the streets
In my own country where the people were familiar,
I keep all these feelings in me.
Pain deep within, drowned in excessive things,
So I don't feel a thing.
Like Cocaine on my tongue,
I numbed myself to my thoughts,
So I can focus on my work.

Chorus 2
"My son, I know you won't forget where you came from,
Far from me, in the land of dreams, keep your people's values still pure,
In streets paved with pyrite, know opportunity is your right,
Hold my words fast in your mind!"

Verse 2
I paid heed to those words so I could live
A life much better than he.
I never did think I would have to deal
With claims that we sleep on trees.
From the same black people who 50 years ago
Still had to face racism.
Looking down on my own neighbors or those of my kind,
It's all part of A Foreigner's Mind.
And with that, I hope I gave you a glimpse
Into A Foreigner's Mentality.
Track Name: Just This Once(Lorraine)
Verse 1
Her name is Lorraine, small town girl who likes to skate,
She digs Coldplay and that one song by T-Pain,
So I guess HipHop-wise, she isn't that fine,
But we're talking looks and with that she's a nine.
Just shy of a dime, she's dating the homie Kwame,
He likes her a lot, smiles even when he should frown,
Too bad he's gassed, thinking this relationship could last,
Making the same mistake I had of falling too fast.
Because in time, Lorraine proved she was a kite,
Had to roam about, feel the rush of flight.
And like a good bird of prey, she had me in her sights,
The one dude who knew but wouldn't put up a fight.
Less preoccupied with what's right, more into what might,
So it was inevitable that I fall to her charm,
And so we met for drinks on that Friday night...

Chorus
And then the sun set...
And I looked into her eyes
And then I asked "How 'bout it?"
And she replied:
"Why not? But Just This Once..."
"Yeah, that makes sense"

Verse 2
So now we caught in the mix and it twists and it turns,
Trying to claw our way out but quickly we learned,
That good habits die young but our vices live long,
This is why after school I'm meeting Lorry for lunch.
It's getting harder to look in the mirror, yet I claim to see clearer,
Behind a false wall of lies; it helps me sleep better,
Cheating with my best friend's girl ha, thinking I'm clever,
Oddly enough the fruit's gotten bitter.
Yet still I go in, deeper than Jay E,
Lose myself in that body while she stays on the pill.
We not tryna make babies but we act like it lately,
And to be honest, it feels great so my no turns to maybe.
So we indulge in lust, deep down I admit it's fun,
But God, I used to clown those who would do this wrong,
But my life sucks so I gotta get some...

Chorus
And then the sun set...
And I looked into her eyes
And then I asked "How 'bout it?"
And she replied:
"Why not? But Just This Once..."
"Yeah, Alright"

Verse 3
We like to look at our lives and make suppositions,
Like ''I'd never do that!'' no matter the conditions,
But the real deal is, until we face that case,
We never really know what choices we'll make,
I never would have guessed that I would be ''that guy.''
Who could look in his friend's face and still act like,
His girl wasn't half mine, if I had half a spine,
I'd have made her pick sides but nah she ate her pie,
And had it, I wish I could say I came out to Kwame,
And that he never even knew his girl was effing around,
Or blame it on my homies who told me to go with the flow,
But this is is life: if only that's how the story would go...
Just.This.Once
Track Name: UnSaid(loRrAINe)
Some things are better left unsaid…but this is HipHop
I can say whatever I want…
Verse 1
I used to try and write poems at the back of that class,
Pretend to take notes cuz I knew I would pass,
Wondering if you’d like that… those poems were about you,
From the sheen of your hair to the size of your shoe.
I wonder if you knew, looking up at those slides,
Deciphered the truth, read it between those lines,
That the only reason I was behind, was because of you,
The only reason I stayed in that class, was because of you.
Rainy or sunny, my world is gray,
Through these cracked lenses, all I see is decay,
But as of late…you bring that color to my life,
Even through these heavy eyelids, you give me some fight.
Maybe Calc isn’t that bad, maybe this time the math,
Won’t make me feel like I’m slowly being gassed,
No concentration camp, yep, that’s the rule,
Whenever you’re here, my life begins anew.
Chorus
Sometimes I feel that I,
And you…
Were meant to meet someday but it’s time…
That I outgrew,
That idea that keeps me stuck on you.
It’s time I moved on,
Cuz If I won’t,
I’ll find myself here next year, stuck on you…
And I will not take that chance!
Verse 2
Damn right, I’ve known that for a fact,
Ever since you said no and I had to put up an act,
You see these walls, I build ‘em up and tear them down,
So steep and strong, they barely hold when you’re around,
From Take A Look to The Cycle and lastly Petals,
I’ve rapped about you in more ways than I think is clever,
It’s time that I quit before I get in too deep,
No one wants to be that creep, still stuck on a girl,
No matter how sweet, it’s time I moved my feet,
Without looking back and then flee this scene.
My heart beats otherwise but my mind disagrees,
It’s time I stopped dreaming and wake up to the breeze,
The winds are changing shhh do you feel it?
I doubt it but still I’ll let you in on a secret:
I’ve rapped about this moment so many times in my head
But this is the first time that it won’t be UnSaid!

No more relapses, this just might be it…
Track Name: Goodbye.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face...
I've been alone with you inside my mind...
And in my dreams, I've kissed your lips...
a thousand times.
I sometimes see you pass outside my door...
HELLO! IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN SAY!
TO CHANGE THAT PART!
TO CHANGE THAT PART!
TO CHHAAANNNGGE!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somedays I feel broke inside but I won't admit...
Sometimes I just want to hide cause it's you I miss...
And it's so hard to say Goodbye when it comes to this...
OOOOooooohhh ohhh
I long to see the sunlight in your hair,
And tell you time and time again,
How much I care.
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow...
Hello-
GOODBYEEEEEEE
'Said everything's gonna be fi-fi-fine.
'Said everything's gonna be ok.
'Said just don't breathe the air....
I WOULD HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS...
I WOULD TAKE THE PAIN AWAY
----------------------////////////////////////////
FORGIVE ALL YOUR MISTAKES!!!
THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO!
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE AGAIN!!!!
SOMETIMES I WANNA CALL YOU!
BUT I KNOW YOU WON'T BE THERE....
OHHHH I'M SORRY-
HEY! WAIT!
I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!
FOREVER IN DEBT TO YOUR PRICELESS ADVICEEEE....
YOUR ADVICEEEEE....
YOUR ADVICEEEEE....
YOUR ADVICEEEEE....
.....
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I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak...
Awake and Unafraid.
Asleep or Dead.
I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak...
Awake and Unafraid.
ASLEEP OR DEA-
Me: No.
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Everyone knows now...
It all comes crashing DOWN!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER, LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
IT'S OVER...
LEAVE IT!
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...I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do,
And I've hurt myself....
....Me: By hurting you.
Track Name: The Box(Weltschmerz)
Verse 1
He always rises in the East then sets in the West,
The same way I succumb to sleep then wake at my best.
When I was 17, I thought I was done,
With working at 6:30 every week, every morn-
Ning “Get up hon,” she says, “or you’ll be late for work.
I know it’s a daily struggle just working for that jerk,
But today’s hurdle paves the way for success,
Now get in that bathroom and woof! Take care of that breath!”
Ha, that’s my girl,
Betty, I’d give you the world,
Knows just how to push my knob to keep me with this job,
Plus the baby on the way, I think we’ll call him Josh,
Because like MLK, he’ll give the people what they want.
Ok I’m ready; I kiss Betty on the cheek,
And on her big belly, and I get a li’l kick,
I miss them already but I’ve gotta pay these bills,
So I start up the car, turn up the radio and the heat,
…Rap music? Nah…I don’t listen to that,
I remember once I had dreams of being a star,
But dreams are just dreams: that’s what they are,
They never last; they’re better left in the past,
And I’m driving….And I’m driving… And I’m driving
The BOX

Verse 2
The Sun might rise in the East and set in the West,
But at best it’s all a blur; I could care less.
The last leg of this tour: it’s one of my first
Ever, I feel blessed, to finally be heard,
A feeling I can’t express, or put into words,
Sike it’s like a bird that finally took the dive,
‘Cause despite the height, they all flew like kites,
Watching from his cage, he knew what he wanted to be like,
So he took a leap, at first wasn’t clear like seams,
But he flew the highest that they had ever seen,
The flyest they would ever get to see,
But like all things, flight is not as cool as it seems.
I wake up in Paris, in the best hotel I’ve ever been,
I roll over and see, other side of my bed’s empty,
I’d picked up a floozy; I think she went by Suzy,
I guess she knew the drill,
Just another ho in a night with M.L.T.

Interlude

Verse 3
The Sun might rise in the West and set in the East,
Or vice verse- don’t care as long as when I go to sleep,
I know with my eyes closed, dreams are not being policed,
Misused and abused instead they’re home free,
And you bet your ass they’ll run like Usain,
Crazy like Hussein but then again who’s sane?
Walking out to my car, I hear some screams and some yells,
‘HelioS! M.L.T! And I love your nov-el!’
I smile and I nod, wave then I get in,
Pull out a ring, I wonder what Lorraine will think,
Well, I kinda know but we’ll see when we see,
Then a plane flies by: oh, that’s the new Gulfstream,
At about 70 something feet, I’m glad I got that degree,
Pull out of my driveway, ready to win a girl out of my league.
I guess it all worked out in the end….
I keep driving and I turn the bend.
And I’m driving…and I’m driving…and I’m driving…
Track Name: Two Gods / Last Words
Intro
This world realigns, I can see the sign...
My head is clear now: I can speak my mind...
Now it's me or it...
Which one will die?!
As Two gods cannot share a shrine...

Verse
As I rush through the valley of the Shadow of Death,
I hear myself say a prayer not to run out of breath,
I've always blamed him for my cause of unrest,
Now I've realized part of the fault's on myself,
Why is it we only call out his name,
When we stub a toe and start to feel the pain?
Imagine my shame, it's time I changed this frame,
This movie sucks anyway and I won't see it again!
New beginnings are eternal, Death-the absence of change,
Last time I checked I was alive, so I'll get in this range,
And drive off, key in the ignition and speed away,
Over the bumps of this graves titled 'My Past Mistakes'
The clouds grow dark, Lightning paves my way,
Swerving through the cemetery, hands feel like clay-
But I IGNORE IT! This all ends today,
I break past this graveyard and I'm gonna make some change.
In other words hell to pay as grandpa's song plays,
But no more distractions: I'm outta this place.
Riding and Riding...this won't be too fun,
But no more brakes, I'll face these problems full on.
Hubris? Yep, I've got it.
Insecurities? Yep, I've got it.
A desperate need to succeed? Yeah I've got it.
But guess what? I already fought it.
So that cold hard fact...take it to heart.
And watch these mental chains start to retract!







Last Words
Verse
Have I been purified? No, of course not.
But let me clarify: Pave this road with asphalt!
Man's strongest opponent has always been Self,
I'm just fortunate to have had some help!
Like one who overcomes stage fright,
Or learns to walk away from a staged fight.
Similar destinations but different air flights.
I've not gotten rid of my Devils: just kept them at bay.
An eternal timeout so the Angels can play.
Track Name: Never Let Me Down
Verse 1
When I record this track, I wanna believe what I spat,
That God has got my back and lay my truth on wax.
As I grow up now, I look back fondly on my past:
Pre M.L.T, before the cynicism and the raps.
Bible verses on my tongue, back then I could do no wrong,
Spiritually strong, a crusader among the throng.
But right about now, I could barely read a psalm,
I see no wrong questioning Jesus’s palms.
Sitting in the pews at church, watching the preacher do his thing,
Pretending murmurings don’t bubble in my head like submarines.
Sequestered in sin, looked at my dusty Bible and felt a twinge
Of guilt, I’ve lost my faith in the dream
Of paradise, let me clarify,
For every virtue of mine, there’s a scary vice,
I need to clear my eyes and feel his vibe,
Resting not within my mind, but instead my heart.
What they’ve fed me all this time was just a pack of lies,
And finally, I’ve come to realize…
Chorus
When it comes to being true, he’s true to me…
One thing I’ve found, one thing I’ve found,
Oh, he’ll never let me down…
Verse 2
Perhaps my loss of faith stems from the people around me,
Who drink from the fountain of the supposedly enlightened,
That ironically deplore everything that could frighten,
Them: so called freed minds who’ve seen light so they decline,
Any chance to rewind and see what matters in life,
Nah it’s live life to the fullest and never think back,
The problem is this creates nihilistic tendencies,
In simple English, that’s a carefree attitude about everything,
See what I think is, we all realize something’s missing,
But some try to cover it up by claiming to think different,
And shove it down our throats by the TV or what we’re listening,
And what bothers me is not enough people are speaking,
Out about it, I’m tired of being the butt,
Of your jokes, cause I know what happens when the lid is shut,
We either take a stand or get trampled in the dust,
This is not the first time they’ve tried to keep us shut,
Or tune us out, tell me what makes a good man’s people,
Send him to be crucified in exchange for one so evil?
Their tactics might have changed but their goal remains the same,
And as Christians, we ought to rise above the refrain,
Get up off our couch and walk the lane,
Those before shed their blood for to keep the faith,
Sometimes I feel lost but God always picks me up,
Because simply put, I know he’ll never let me down!
Ending
It’s almost surreal to think about now,
But awhile ago,
I was failing AP Calculus.
And you can’t fail an AP course, especially in your senior year,
I wasn’t going to graduate… just because of one class!
Obviously it hit me hard… I spent weeks in a daze,
Depressed and sleepy, pessimistic and suicidal,
It seemed with each test, I was digging a deeper hole for myself,
And having always been good at Math, I wouldn’t call for help,
Till by the grace of God, my mom came to visit,
She knew in her heart, that something was wrong,
And through prayer and hard work, I was victorious,
An A- letter grade in my 4th quarter,
And even though at the time I rejected God,
He never stopped showering me with love,
And now I’ve learnt humility,
Like the song says HE NEVER LET ME DOWN.
I need to clear my eyes and feel his vibe,
Resting not within my mind, but instead my heart.
Track Name: The Artist's Prayer.
Prelude
Right Before the drums is the hardest part,
Some grunt, some yell to try to clear the heart,
But the question sets in: I wonder how it’ll go,
Maybe next time, we should pray some mo’

Verse
The Artist’s Prayer, I rap it with lofty thoughts,
To make it clear, we are those who could not be bought,
No matter how much, we stuck to our guns,
So when the demons came charging, we’d be ready to bust,
Excuse the pun; a simple man with the gift of words,
Who just can’t help feeling this gift is like a curse,
Cause sometimes Lord, with every verse written,
Seconds become minutes, there’s a change of season,
The clock is always ticking and that’s what I fear,
That when folks who care are reminiscing,
I’ll just come up missing,
Lost in the annals of time,
But if I had a chance, I wouldn’t press rewind,
Cause no matter what; I know you’ve got a reason,
For why I am one people should listen to,
And grow from the seeds of knowledge that I hold,
And with your grace, it’ll always be the purest of gold,
Magnified tenfold, please protect me from the snow,
Loose girls, lines of blow this industry can bestow,
Cause I’m a weak man, you can see it in my life,
My heart and my soul, this is why I need Christ…you.
Denouement
Sometimes they pop sh-t,
Sometimes they hoik! spit,
But I want to be different,
I want you as my locksmith.
Control my tongue, control my desire,
And I pray you fan the flames, of my artistic fire.